How will your children remember you?

Mother’s day is nearing us again. It’s a time I think of many things, but mostly of my own mother who passed away in August of 2004. My children were 5, 2 and 5 months at the time, my youngest of course was not born yet.

 

My mother hated her photograph being taken, she avoided it. That saddens me today because whilst I have many memories in my head of her there are also many many things I can not remember. I have no photographs of me with my mother under the age of 18 months and then from 2 -30 yrs of age I have only a small handful. I worry, that over time my memories of her will fade.

 

I’m only able to show my children, her grand children, a small amount of photos of her from her life. We treasure those images greatly…. But there should be a lot more I can share with them.

 

I too, despise my photo being taken. Over the years since I’ve had children I put off getting a professional session done. I had every excuse needed in my mind…. I was going to lose weight, I was going to get my hair coloured, I looked too old, I felt too tired, I didn’t have enough money, there was never enough time…. Etc etc…

 

If the camera came out at parties, at home, with family I tended to duck away (like mother like daughter) or stand behind others or point blank refuse!

 

So how will my children remember me? How will their children know me? How will future generations get to see me? They won’t if I continued to hide.

 

Over the past 4 years I have had 2 professional sessions done. I LOVE the images in them. It’s me and my children. Am I perfect looking? NO. Did I lose weight first? NO. Did I have lots of disposable spare money? NO. I just decided it was important. And I did it.

 

When I look back at photographs of my mother and my grandmothers I never ever look them and think ‘Gee she was fat there’ ‘oh gosh you were grey’ ‘ Gosh how old do you look’. Those and any other negative emotions never ever enter my mind.

When I look back at photographs of my mother and my grandmothers I smile. I look for resemblances with myself, my siblings and my children. I wonder what they were like at that point in their life. What sort of things did they enjoy doing? How happy they looked. I look at the hair do’s and the fashion, it shows me a lot about the era and time the images were taken. I see them with their families and their friends enjoying life. And it makes me smile.

 

Our children don’t look at photos of us and think ‘gee mum you were fat/ugly/old (insert any other negative here)’ All they see is their mum. Someone who they love. Someone who makes them smile. Someone who loves them.

 

So I encourage you, don’t hide from the camera. Stop hiding behind it. Get in front of it. Let your kids snap your photo. Book a session with a professional photographer, jump in photos at get togethers and on family outings. Capture the every day. Because one day you won’t be here and your children deserve photographs to remember you by, your grand children deserve it and your grand children’s children deserve it!

 

You are who you are. Right now. And that is more than ok.

 

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That’s me, with my mum and my grandmother.

6 thoughts on “How will your children remember you?”

  1. A very powerful piece, Susan. I was moved, and I now want to do exactly that because you are absolutely right – our kids and their kids deserve to see us in photographs and special pieces of history. Thank you for sharing this.

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